Sunday, March 9, 2014

3/9/14 Number 96 has been checked off :)

I think the 90s for my bucket list are just plain lucky. Or maybe it's because number 96 was very obtainable. My main goal in life is to be a professional special effects makeup artist. Like the people on face off. But in order to do special effects, I also have to be able to do beauty. And I have never been that girl to spend 45 minutes on my make up every morning. And neither has my mom so any real make up experience comes from fooling around, or my friends.
Today while I was walking around Santa Cruz, I went into Urban Outfitters. Now for those of you that don't know, Urban Outfitters is a store with a bit of everything. There's really cute clothes, make up, hair stuff, gag jokes, anything really. And I managed to find a makeup kit marked down from 12 dollars to 1.99. And no there wasn't anything wrong with it and it was marked correctly. I asked. The kit came with a 6 color eye shadow palette, liquid eyeliner, lip gloss, make up brush, pencil eyeliner, mascara, and eyelid primer. I have never owned liquid eyeliner before and frankly it frightens me just a bit. What if I poke myself in the eye? What if I make a mistake with it being all wet and then it gets smudgy?
Put it this way, a perfect cat eye didn't seem at all like it was on the days agenda. But as I was chatting on the phone with my lovely friend Katrina, I decided to give it a go. I steadied my hand and went in for the kill. And I murdered that bitch, pardon my french. Check it out:

Don't mind the fuzzyness, this is my phone. Not bad for a first time right? And I washed it off just once! Granted this is my right eye (the thing flipped it) but still, I'm sure if I had the energy to do the other eye it wouldn't be too bad. Anyway I'm proud, and I'm crossing number 96 off the list. See what happens when goals are made?
With Love, life, and laughter
Brina

3/8/14 Sorry!

Sorry lovelies! I was busy as anything this weekend, so I didn't have the time to post, so I'm going to do a make up one for yesterday and one for today!
So let's see, what went on yesterday? Well, I went to San Jose. For those of you that don't know it, San Jose is a relatively big city in California's bay area. I was born there. When it was established, San Jose was the home of orchards. Now it's the home of the San Jose Sharks, cute eclectic diners, and street fairs. And of course all the things that come with big cities. It's a city rich in history and I'm lucky enough to have grandparents that are fully immersed in that.
They belong to many historical associations, one of which that put on a luncheon this Saturday. During that luncheon they had a talk on the McGlincy Massacre. I'm going to tell you all that story, it's sad, but very interesting. :)
In the late 1800s a woman named Hattie Wells was set to marry a James Dunham. Hattie's real father was dead and her mother, Ada Wells remarried Colonel McGlincy, an ex-confederate soldier. She had a brother as well, James or Jimmy Wells. Originally Hattie was to marry James's brother, Charles McGlincy, but James managed to woo her into marrying him.
None of the family like him. They didn't think he was right for her, or even very nice. Which was entirely plausible. Dunham's mother was known as Kate the Terror, known for her ferocious Irish temper. And Dunham himself was known to have a ridiculously short fuse, going to the far extent of in a fit of rage tearing chickens to bits. Now what if he was very angry at a whole family, now murder seems in the very near future, yes?
Well it was. The men of the house were out at a meeting. The Colonel, Jimmy and the farmhand all went. So left at the house was Hattie, Ada, and the maid, Minnie. Dunham was out as well until about 8 that night. Then he ascended the stairs in stocking feet, carrying an ax. He walked into his wives room where her and their three week old baby laid. He strangled her to death. In that time Minnie, whose room was right next to Hatties, came onto the scene. He hit her with the ax.
Ada hid in her room downstairs, afraid of the commotion. She didn't last long either thanks to the ax. Then the boys came home. The Colonel walked through into the parlor and put up a long fight, but it was long before he had a slash a long his face. Assuming he was dead, Dunham went for the brother, who had an even longer fight, but thanks to a bicycle injury in one of the weeks prior wasn't a full strength and so he died. Turns out the Colonel wasn't dead. He took off running to another house while Dunham collected some guns. The Colonel barricaded himself in the house, but thanks to some cajoling on Dunhams part, came out because he through that Dunham would have put down the gun. He had not and the Colonel now died. The farmhand whose house he was in then also died. Now we just have the stable boy.
He was hiding in the hay, trying to stay alive. And he did, miraculously. Dunham never found him. And no one ever found Dunham either.
How am I related in anyway to this story you ask? Well my great grandparents ran a boarding house in the McGlincy house for a few years. My great grandam used to tell stories about the house being haunted. A stain that looked like blood on the wood stairs that never came out. Something looking like it was holding my grandmas hand as she came down the stairs. Little things like that. I'm not sure if it's all real or not, but it's all pretty trippy stories.
Maybe this wasn't the happy uplifting thing you were looking for today, I just thought I'd share a bit of history. And it's a pretty entertaining story.
With love, life, and laughter

Brina :)

Friday, March 7, 2014

3/7/14 I beat number 90 on the list!!

So yes, I know. I already did a swimming post. But to be completely honest I didn't anticipate to be crossing number 90 off of my bucket list so soon. That was my goal for the entire season, not for this very first meet. And I beat it. And you wouldn't believe how happy I am.
I'm not a fast swimmer. I am about 5 foot 1 inch tall, and have had stomach problems since the beginning of this year; resulting in lack of physical endurance. Oh and  I can't breathe. And I forget to breathe. And then the air feels like it's not going into my lungs. Then I start breathing in water. Alas, I drown after one too many laps. The height thing matters because anyone who is a lot taller than me, the second they go off the block (the thing we dive off of) they're a good few feet ahead of me. The physical endurance effects me majorly because although I'm relatively strong, I can't always keep going during strokes at the same pace as everyone else. It just doesn't work like that, hopefully it will soon.
I did have a 48 second freestyle time. I managed to drop that to a 41 second freestyle time. That was because I worked hard. I pushed it, I refused to lift my head out of the water to breathe until I had to, breathing would have slowed me down. I succeeded in my flip turn, a skill I've been working on for the past weeks. And my dive was okay, another thing I have been practicing for weeks. Practice makes perfect.
But it couldn't have been just practice. Just practice, no passion doesn't make for anything good. When a kid starts reading, they want to read, they want to have that skill. But later in life they lose that passion so even though they've had practice at it and could be very good readers, they don't have enough passion. I had passion, I had drive. Well I forced myself to have both.
Because if I don't have passion, then I won't try. I would have stuck around my 48 second free time, and been content. But no, I'm going to keep pushing it until I get into the 30s, I know I won't get into the twenties, that would be insane. But I will keep pushing it.
I think goals are something good for everyone to strive for, I mean look at my bucket list. I can't accomplish half of those if I don't make them happen myself. I may not find passion in school or even set goals for it anymore, especially in math class, but if I start actually working in swim, hey maybe other things will follow. Setting that as my free goal helped me accomplish it, maybe if I set a goal in math to turn in every assignment for the next week that would help there too. I'm not sure.
So that's my thing to live for, actually from yesterday. Living for goals that make me happy. Living for passion. I like that, passion is a good thing to have. Especially you know where ;) ;) couldn't let that one go untouched, sorry. Anyways, hope you all have a wonderful day!
With love, life, and laughter

Brina :)

Thursday, March 6, 2014

3/6/14 Love, life, laughter

I was just thinking about why I say these words at the end of this. And I know they're part of an awfully popular quote, "Live every moment, Laugh every day, Love beyond words", but that isn't where I get it from. They actually come from the tattoo I want to get, and no this isn't going to be a post talking about myself in a long overly drawn out anecdote, it's going to be about words. The tattoo is going to be from my hip to my ribs with 7 butterflies, each a color of the rainbow. Then next to each butterfly will be a word in cursive. "Hope, Love, Live, Laughter, Imagination, Happiness, Friendship" The butterflies represent freedom and each word is something worth striving for. Then each also represent something of their own.
Hope is hope for something better to always come. Hope for a new day, a new sunrise. Hope for my life to work out how I want it to. When Pandora opened her box so many things were released and left to terrorize humans. But she was left with hope. So even when there is nothing left at all, there is always hope. A flame left at the bottom of the box, a flame left burning in every person.
Love to me is equivalent to hope. But maybe that's because I have an exceptional love for everything. I could meet a person once and just love them immediately. That doesn’t always happen, but I do love humans as a whole. We may be sincerely messed up sometimes, but there is good in everyone and I love that good with the bad. People are people and if you can't love the bad, how can you ever love the good?
Live. Well this one is rather self explanatory I suppose depending on some people's views. Breathing. One breath in, one breath out. Hearts pumping blood right? Okay good, that must mean I'm living. But I don't know, I suppose this means more than that. It's a reminder to stop thinking about what people might think and just love. Go. Be free and fly away and follow my dreams. Have confidence.
Laughter. I spent a while of my life not really having a sense of humor. Laughter is reminding me to take a joke and making mistakes isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes they're rather funny. It's a reminder not to be so hard on myself. Laughter means to be happy and to let go. To let loose
Imagination. To stay child like. To still be able to stare up at the clouds and see a bunny rabbit. If we lose being a child, well then I'd lose other things as well. Imagination is a childhood building block and sometimes people forget to keep cultivating it even in adulthood. But acting like a child goes back to that freedom. To let loose and take yourself to another place in your dreams is a great skill and one that requires imagination.
Happiness. I want to wake up with a smile and go to sleep with a smile. Though that isn't hard to do because I don't physically have the capability of frowning. Like my mouth doesn't work like that, I've tried. I want a reason to get up and go to school or to some menial job for 8 hours a day. I need something like this blog will give me, an excuse to look for the little things and find happiness in them. A butterfly on a tree, a bunny shaped cloud, a freshly opened rose, anything
Friendship. Because what is life without companions to share it with. I want people that I can be a dork around and have them still have my back. I want a shoulder to cry on and an arm to lean on. That's what friends are for. Not back stabbing and back trashing. I want friends that are there through thick and thin. This is one of the butterflies for striving towards.
There is meaning behind the most innocent of words. The word butterfly. What's the first thing that pops into your head? The first thing for me is a blue butterfly flying away, kind of like in Alice in Wonderland. There's something behind everything and something in everything. I hope this made you think of some things that are maybe more meaningful.
With love, life, and laughter

Brina :) 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

3/5/14 Swimming

I am a swimmer. Albeit, not a very good one, but good enough to be on my schools swim team. In an effort to start caring about something again, I rejoined the team. And to be completely honest, it has helped a lot. I have something I need to do everyday. Something to look forward to. While the work outs may be tough (we warmed up with a 250 freestyle and 400 kick the other day) it's distracting. School can be tough and very very awful sometimes. But to have something, like a sport to look forward to each day, well that's nice.
Practice, at least right now, starts at 6 o'clock. So it's dark out. And you wouldn't think that'd be a good thing. But then when you're swimming along relatively peacefully, doing a backstroke and you look up and see the stars, well I suppose I could say it's magical. Dark blue black sky and these tiny little pin points like someone took the world and covered it in construction paper then poked it with a pin a few times. I just made beauty sound like a failed art project, oops. But anyway, just know that the sky looked awesome.
And that's not all. Two days ago it was raining and it was very cold outside. (Cold as in I think between fifty and sixty degrees with wind in a bathing suit). We were standing waiting to practice diving and there was all this steam rising out of the water, and I don't know why, but I thought it was the coolest looking thing. It was trippy because everyone's faces were getting fuzzy and I already didn't have glasses on so it wasn't working out trying to see everyone.
I don't know, I suppose the point of saying all this is that in every big thing, like swimming, there is even smaller things that make it even better. If you paint, there's the actual painting of the picture that's awesome. Then there is the mixing of colors and seeing an image come out of a blob. Or if you run. There's the cheering of the crowd, the rushing of the ground, the speed of your legs. If you sit on tumblr, there is the laughter of the comic posts, the sadness of the depression posts, the mushy love-ness of the shipping posts, the list goes on and on. Everything has smaller parts that make it up, and each of those parts are also worth caring for. Hell, I would go as far to say that those little moments are what makes the big moments even better. With a little bit of paying attention, who knows what you'll notice is beautiful in this world. I'm sure you'll find something.
With love, life, and laughter,

Brina :)

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

3/4/14 My Bucket List

I would have to recommend making one of these. It's fun and simple and really honestly I loved putting it together, I'm actually still adding things to it. A lot of the stuff on it is travel related or my fear related. Or kissing. Because that kind of stuff is just fun. A bucket list gives you something to shoot for and I think we all need that. So here is mine, hopefully by putting this out there I'll actually try for them! :) And please, make your own! Make one for your whole life, or before you turn 21, or before you graduate high school, anything! Have fun loves :)
  1. Get a flat stomach
  2. Go to Europe
  3. Get my License
  4. Feel comfortable in my own skin
  5. Keep my room clean
  6. Kiss in the rain
  1. Get a tattoo
  1. Pierce my belly button
  1. Go to times square for New Years Eve
  1. Go right to stage for a concert
  1. Kiss underwater
  1. Sleep under the stars
  2. Go to all seven continents
  3. Fall in Love
  4. Go skinny dipping
  5. Meet a band
  1. Go on a cross country road trip
  1. Go skydiving
  2. Ride a real roller coaster
  3. Take a picture every day for a year
  4. Learn to walk in heels
  5. Watch a horror movie
  6. Go to a Jewish or Italian Delicatessen
  7. Go to Disney World
  8. Donate Blood
  9. Go to a drive-in theater
  10. See the Northern Lights
  11. Design an entire outfit
  12. Organize my entire room
  13. Learn a full song on guitar
  14. Start a charity
  15. Start and finish a diary
  16. Talk to a total stranger
  17. Make croissants
  18. Visit all 50 states
  19. Stop biting my nails
  20. White Water rafting
  21. Start a campfire
  22. Look someone in the eyes and tell them how I feel
  23. Ride on a gondola in Venice
  24. Go to the top of the Eiffel tower in Paris
  25. Go on a hot air balloon
  26. Go swimming in an ocean
  27. Jump off a waterfall
  28. Go to Comic Con
  29. Start a YouTube channel
  30. Blog regularly
  31. Don't think to much and just act
  32. Keep nail polish on for a week
  33. Study special effects make up
  34. Win an Oscar
  35. Swim with dolphins somewhere where they live freely and aren't treated cruelly
  36. Go to a bonfire
  37. Go on an airplane
  38. ABC party
  39. Run a mile without dying
  40. Volunteer for a good cause
  41. Learn to ride a skate board
  42. Pull an all-nighter and not get sick
  43. Go to carnival in one of the islands
  44. Try sushi in Japan
  45. Try Starbucks at the original Starbucks place
  46. Go to the top of the Seattle space needle
  47. Have a summer fling
  48. Go on a trip with friends
  49. Stay at that ice hotel that is somewhere in the world
  50. Teach my children to always be themselves
  51. Start something and finish it
  52. Paint a big painting
  53. Make a decision purely for myself
  54. Complete a scrapbook
  55. Go on a date
  56. Do corn rows on someone
  57. Messy twister
  58. Write a book
  59. Go on a shopping spree from real stores
  60. Not be afraid of fire
  61. Own a small studio over a pretty ocean view
  62. Go clubbing
  63. Kiss at the top of a ferris wheel
  64. Go swimming at midnight
  65. Go to hogwarts
  66. Meet Ve Neill
  67. Go to that bridge in Paris with the locks
  68. Go to Juliet's house in Verona
  69. Backpack somewhere
  70. Turn in all my math homework
  71. Smile at 5 random people
  72. get a 41 second free style time
  73. speak spanish fluently
  74. ride a zip line in Costa Rica
  75. eat true chicago deep dish pizza
  76. go to a music festival
  77. buy my own car
  78. do a perfect cat eye 

 With love, life, and laughter
Brina :)

My Idea

So I've been having this idea in my head for a while. Mostly because lately I've been depressed. Honestly, I have stopped caring. But then I started thinking, there is honestly so much to live for. There is some much out there that I haven't seen, that I haven't done. I want to travel, and find who I am. And focusing in on the little things that get me down isn't going to help me, it's actually making me worse.
Here's the plan. Everyday, and yes I do mean everyday, I will be posting one thing that is worth living for, either something on my bucket list that I will have completed, something small that happened that day, something I look forward to, anything. Anything that is worth living for. Because trust me, there is a lot of things worth living for, especially the small ones. I have to admit, even in my darkest hours, I love life. It's beautiful, magical, and amazing, even through it doesn't always seem like it. I want to find that magic again. Come with me if you want, or figure out your own things to live for.
As always, live, love and laugh,
Brina